Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Love Story

It's not love, it's something much more sinister than that. Something empty, something full. Something half full. Something two thirds full. Something slightly less than half full. That something? A cup. But what was in that cup?
Another cup.


"That's what I thought", said John.

* * * *

John looked out of the window for inspiration. A cloud. Another cloud.

A cloud.

Suddenly, he felt inspired. He would write about a cloud, that had clouds with clouds, and did cloud. Off a cloud's back.

* * * *

John slept with the light on. He slept with the light on and the door open. He slept with the bedroom door open and the front door too. All the windows were open. The floor was thin.

The floor was decaying. The walls were disappearing. The roof wasn't there, the night sky was in full view and the heavens opened and the rain came. John slept outside.

"Funny", said John, looking back. "I only wanted a pack of fags."

* * * *

John looked at his poem, sighed, and thought. He thought until his brain hurt and his fingers stuck together. He may have lived in a pond, but did he really? Did he really live in this pond? Did he really spend his time in the pond, sleeping, eating and beating (himself off)? Was he there, or was something else at work, something altogether deeper?

No, he lived in the pond.

* * * *


John walked behind the bush, (Kate Bush) and hid. He hid, he hit 'z', he went prone, he strafed, he jumped, he pressed 7 and withdrew his rocket launcher.

He fired a rocket at the cake shop. He fired another. Limbs, blood, glass, chocolate eclairs.

John giggled.

* * * *

This wasn’t what John wanted. He didn’t need it. Heck, he didn’t deserve it. So he’d hit a couple of old ladies. The light was flashing amber, he didn’t have to wait, did he?

Sitting in the police station John thought about ‘nam. The sound of helicopters creeping above. The smell of death. The taste of chocolate éclairs. Yum yum!

* * * *

Having no weapons wouldn't discourage him. Having no hands wouldn't dull his spirits. Losing his legs wouldn't stop him. A lack of vision wouldn't affect him. No sight is a get out clause for losers anyway.

He'd roll his way there, and John would have his revenge.

* * * *

John's patience was wearing thin. Those around him surrounded him, suffocated him, shut him off, hurt him, embarrased him, surrounded him, suffocated him. Bummed him.


The end.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Hello! Hello! Hello!

Ahaha! The hello game there! Fell free to try it yourself sometime!

Now I post today with my experience. My experience in what, you ask?

Why are you asking me that? That's a very personal question you rude, rude boy. I will, however, answer it for you.

Trust. A deep subject I'm sure you'll agree, almost as deep as a very deep hole in fact. A very, very deep hole even. But any deeper and you'd just be being silly. What are you, a clown?

Many many years ago a man came up with a very good test of trust. Who, you ask? I don't know, I'm not doing any research, why don't you find out for yourself? Lazy.

Anyway this man came up with the test, whereby one person would stand, facing away from the second. That was a really poorly constructed sentence wasn't it? The second person would fall back, and rely upon only their trust in the first person to stop them from falling onto their precious, precious (fat) neck.

Unfortunately this was a little too complicated for some. My Dad misunderstood large chunks of it, starting off by landing me onto his knee -instantly breaking my back- before smashing me in the face repeatedly with a spade. At the time I felt more than a little annoyed, but looking back now I realise I had a lot of growing up to do.